Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
