Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
