i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
