I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
...so i touched it.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
porn star boner night. come get it.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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