So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
