I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
