I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
