ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You are a genius and a whore.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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