No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
