its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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