ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
