I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize