Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
