tell your sister to shave her snatch
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
