one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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