Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
