Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
