This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Is Oprah even human
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
