One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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