Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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