im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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