butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
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LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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