This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
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Dignity is for republicans.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
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My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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