Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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