i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
