This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
