yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
