youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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