omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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