Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you didnt know i had herpes?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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