Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
