Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
