i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
