Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
