I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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