She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
