you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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