I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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