he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
