Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
