I'm eating all of the evidence.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Farmville is her only friend.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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