definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
