So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize