Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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