I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
