I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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