Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
