I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
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I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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