I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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