Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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