Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
