Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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