and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize