And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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