so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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