remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
