I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize