i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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