Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
