In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
