just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
