i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
i think i just lost a toe
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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