if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
