That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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