Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
