NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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