did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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