god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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